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QaR
January 2008 
Purity
Posted on Dec 1st, 2007
by 
Dawn
Dawn
This is sort of a question for Paul (but I hope anyone with ideas will answer too) based upon his statement that he is in search of living with a pure heart.
What is purity, pure, purify, purification?
I am internally resistant to those words. Maybe it comes from my Christian background. It makes me think of those passive air filters that collect black stuff from the air. And then God comes along and wipes the black stuff from your heart.
I just suspect that somehow the black stuff is part of one's purity, or should be accepted somehow. Or maybe it's that I would hate for anyone to feel impure. Or perhaps it is balled up in the idea of sexual impurity--which is usually used in an unfair way.
Or maybe it is because I am not a very tidy person, and I am defensive. Erg.
Anyway, please tell me all about what you mean by purity and why it is important.
Thank you in advance.
What is purity, pure, purify, purification?
I am internally resistant to those words. Maybe it comes from my Christian background. It makes me think of those passive air filters that collect black stuff from the air. And then God comes along and wipes the black stuff from your heart.
I just suspect that somehow the black stuff is part of one's purity, or should be accepted somehow. Or maybe it's that I would hate for anyone to feel impure. Or perhaps it is balled up in the idea of sexual impurity--which is usually used in an unfair way.
Or maybe it is because I am not a very tidy person, and I am defensive. Erg.
Anyway, please tell me all about what you mean by purity and why it is important.
Thank you in advance.
Access: Public
My first thought is: it's living with what we already have. More soon…
If purity is what we inherently are, then why is it a search? To me, it's a matter of perspective…right now I feel like I'm in a sea of muck (i.e. my blocks, impure motives, defenses). Steph's perspective might tell me I'm not really in muck but that I struggle like I am, and that is the point…I still feel like I am in muck. And from my understanding, it is only through the “search” of getting out of it, that I realize what I'm not in. I'm sure at some point I will stop struggling & realize there really isn't any muck to struggle in (i.e. always pure). Although Steph's perspective helps me be more accepting of myself & the “black stuff,” I can't jump to where she is at & that just seems to be the way the process is…having to go through it. I know you understand that, so my point is, I'm just trying to stay true to where I am at now, so that's why I may talk about “purity” as a goal beyond where I'm at now.
Take my comments on your blog yesterday as an example of the impureness (if that's a word :)…I strongly disliked my comments on your blog yesterday because they were not very sincere nor said with pure motive. They did less to help or support you and more to make myself feel better. I suppose you could call it my black stuff; someone might say “oh, that's just part of who & what we naturally have to deal with & overcome” & hence it's not really blackness, but that doesn't stop it from feeling like blackness to me.
But what you're saying seems to be in line with what Stephanie & Martin (my ex-counselor) have helped me with: not blaming or beating myself up for the way I am….to still address these blocks but not beat myself up for having them.
p.s. I wish God would just wipe it away, hah! I suppose that is what “asking for forgiveness for sins” is…to not blame one's self. (although there is no outside deity to just wipe the blocks away, which seems to be the more popular idea of conessioni of sins :)
I am sure there are different levels of discussion about purity (i.e. Bambi looks purer than a mighty buck that's been through years of fighting, even if that buck's actions & thoughts & love are of more pure intent), but I don't completely understand all of that, so if you have any thoughts about that, wonderful!
Just out of curiosity, has what I've spoken about in the above comments still caused resistance for you inside when hearing the word purity used?!
And lastly, to be honest…I heard this phrase (“In search of a pure heart”) on the TV show “Life” this past week & it just stuck out to me. I changed it to “living with a pure heart” on my blog b/c I believe the purity is already here, it is just learning to live from it that is the search
Dear Paul,
I am totally grooving with what you are saying. I was not at all criticizing you for using the word “pure”, but more marveling at my resistance to it. I relate so much to your issue of blaming yourself or beating youself up for just being where you are. I do that too. And very often I beat myself up or second guess myself for things I have said (I call it “flapping my big yap”).
Have you read the book Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach? I have found it really useful when I am being hard on myself. I think I have an extra copy somewhere if you would like it.
And also, I was totally fine with your comment on my other blog post. I just expect you to be human like I am, and it won't change my feelings for you.
-Dawn
Yeah, pass it on. I'm getting better but as my dreams tell me, I could still use it (I had a dream Thursday night in which my friend & I were attending a “Driver Safety Class” to clear our records. Symbolically, it was to teach us how to forgive ourselves.)
Interestingly enough, my comment follows in-line with Paul's in that when I see you two, I see purity. There is no question for me whether it is real or not, because I see it in the both of you.
I think that your resistance to the word/concept is perfectly natural and normal. One can easily and conscisely speak about purity of simple things like elements (of the periodic kind; hydrogen, helium, carbon, gold, etc.), molecules and simple compounds. More complex things such as psyches, and more abstract matters, defy such a modifiers usefulness. Can one form adequate criteria to qualify the purity of a universe, a planet, wind, a tree, an animal, a person, an intent, a desire?
One of those folds in the eight-fold path is proper use of language, right speech. Another way to express it would be the injunction to be impeccable with one's word (see The Four Agreements ). One cannot be impeccable with one's word if one is careless with word choice.
It's pure and simple, poor language use reflects poor thought (ignorance, darkness) and precice communication indicates knowledge, enlightenment.